The final part of the jigsaw

After putting a plan in place with the new doctor, I received the prescriptions right away the next day and was able to go and take them to the pharmacy. With the hydroxy I did the double loading dose to get it into my system as soon as possible as I was only around a week away from ovulation after my 5th miscarriage. This month we tried both naturally and also with at home insemination (due to recent surgery I had). If anyone wants to talk more about home insemination feel free to message me!

I also booked a follicle scan as I wanted to have my follies counted around the time of ovulation, I had the scan on the weds evening and had it confirmed that I would ovulate possibly Thursday more likely Friday from my right ovary. The doctor counted the one dominant follicle and then 10 on each side which was good to know for future months!

We finished trying on the Saturday as my bbt confirmed ovulation on the Friday, got to 3dpo on the Monday and I started coughing and to feel unwell and so I went for a Covid test. The next four days were probably the poorliest I’ve ever felt, I couldn’t get out of bed and Covid hit me bad! As soon as the test was positive I emailed the doctor to check if I was ok taking hydroxy whilst having Covid as I didn’t want it to hinder my recovery, she confirmed it was ok to stay on it.That week I was taking a cocktail of all sorts of meds including, day nurse, night nurse, cough medicine and paramol which is an opioid basically just to try and knock myself out!

All I kept thinking to myself was god I hope I’m not pregnant now this month now I have Covid! On the Saturday evening (8dpo) I felt really sick and weirdly I bit into a sandwich and my gums started to bleed, I was so sick exhausted and unwell I hadn’t even thought about how many days last ovulation I was in the two week wait and actually it was a god send because it normally drags like hell.

The following morning I was laid in bed middle of the morning and I felt so sick, because it was quite late by now I thought I’m not going to waste a frer on 9dpo so I just did a cheapie easy @home paper test and before i had even finished dipping it, the pinkest line came up and I felt so confused and disorientated, I decided to go to sleep! When I woke up the line was still there so I did a frer and got a strong line for 9dpo, I’ve never not had to squint before it was crazy!

I needed to start the clexane but was in isolation, the next issue was that no pharmacy in Hull stocked the damn stuff! So for future reference if anyone needs to take a blood thinner from positive test I highly suggest you already have some to save yourself the stress! Luckily a fellow rainbow chaser had a weeks worth and she drove over to doorstep drop them to me. I’ve never really had an issue with needles or blood tests etc but having to inject myself was a whole new thing to me. It was like some kind of comedy sketch for the first few days and I got some of the best bruises I’ve ever seen, I soon got the hang of it though and learnt it’s all down to getting the right angle!

The next obstacle was how quickly I could arrange the intralipid and again due to isolation I couldn’t get it as soon as ideally would have wanted. Out of the two companies I had been in discussion with I had decided to go with The Fertility Pharmacy due to how quickly they always get back to me and how accommodating they were. Due to the national lockdown it worked out a little more expensive as they had to send a nurse from Liverpool and so I needed to pay the travel but again I didn’t mind this as I wasn’t having to travel anywhere and have a 12 hour day! I didn’t manage to get the intralipid booked in until 10 days after my positive test but as I had tested positive super early I wasn’t too stressed about that.

My isolation ended during the middle of the following week and my tests were blazing even more so than with Ted, I did have a sharp pain in my right side and lower back ache that was causing me worry, I had bloods done to check that they weren’t doing anything crazy that would indicate an ectopic or anything and they were doubling fine but sky high, like triple my levels with Ted so I did start to freak out a bit that it was a multiple pregnancy. I also started been sick before reaching 4 weeks!

I spoke with my Hull consultant that I was re referred to after my loss last October and he wanted me to be followed up in epau to check the location of the pregnancy and to have extra monitoring. As always I received great care at the epau and felt very much at home in the most non homely place to exist haha. I had a scan at 4+4 which confirmed the sac in my uterus and I measured ahead 2 days, the consultant decided to double up my progesterone dose to 800mg a day at this point.

The first at home intralipid experience was great! The courier delivered the parcel to me a few days before which I stored in a cool dark place, I didn’t open it until the morning the nurse was coming. When she arrived I gave her the box and she did everything, we hung the bag off my radiator and sat and chatted for 90 minutes whilst it went through, afterwards I felt tired and sick so I went straight to bed for a few hours.

I booked a scan for what would have been 6 weeks from my last miscarriage (I didn’t have a period in between to date from). This scan was with a consultant the same one that did my follicle scan, I had a transvaginal ultrasound which showed a fetus with heartbeat measuring 5+6. This is the scan that never brings good news but everything was looking good.

One difference this time around has been I have had very bad sickness from the very start, not just nausea but vomiting day and night too, I never had any sickness with Ted but I put that down to been on steroids and they mask the sickness and are used as an anti sickness drug for cancer patients. The sickness has been reassuring but pretty extreme, I was offered medication for the sickness on several occasions but with my history I don’t really want to take something that will make my symptoms stop and cause worry, I’m also up to my eyeballs in medication!

At ten weeks I started itching at night, mostly my arms, legs and palms of my hands. As I had icp in my pregnancy with my son I recognised the symptoms right away and got in touch with the hospital to run my liver bloods. Icp commonly doesn’t start until the very end of the pregnancy for most women however I was diagnosed at 16 weeks the first time around. I went and had the bloods taken and got a call that evening to say I needed to return to the hospital the following morning to see a consultant, I knew just from asking me to go that my suspicions must have been correct. I will have monitoring now for icp throughout but as I’m already consultant lead care it’s just another thing to add to the list!

We also already know that my placenta is not operating at full health which isn’t a great start but I have faith it can hopefully get me as far as possible as I managed it last time, fingers crossed! Although I’m hoping to get way past viability and even not have a preemie this time so let’s see!

I feel like I have definitely done the right thing by advocating and going back on treatment again and I 100% believe that without immune treatment I cannot carry a pregnancy. After having Ted I did think about it a lot whether we had just been lucky and spending all that money and going through the treatment was maybe not needed and that we would never know, I now however fully believe I needed it. After another failed pregnancy and then straight away as soon as I go on treatment again having success I just think it has to be the treatment that worked. Potentially the hydroxy is my wonder drug and maybe the intralipid as they are the two drugs that I have done in both pregnancies, I have done progesterone with both but I’ve also had losses on progesterone too.

I feel extremely lucky to be having a sibling for Ted and I will be forever grateful that these medications and treatment plans exist, I still just wish they were more accessible to all and it wasn’t a case of having to go private. We have a stinking credit card balance but I don’t care .. it’s only money at the end of the day. They say money can’t buy you happiness though and I have to beg to differ as it has bought me both of my babies!

Keep on chasing rainbows and never give up hope, I’m still here and will always stick around in the rpl community, if I can pass on my knowledge and help more women then I always will. Plus I’ve been on the other side of people only wanting to talk whilst it’s relevant to them and then as soon as it’s not they fly like a bird, I’m not a flyer, I will support you, squint at your tests, hold your hand and even cry with you if we have to.

Your time will come… you have to believe it and have hope,

Crazy Fertility Queen – Follow me on Facebook or Instagram

Sam xxx

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