After seeing that heart beat for the first time I felt on cloud nine for around 6 hours and then the panic set in again, panic that the heart had stopped beating and that I had no way of knowing. I only had four days to wait until the 7 week ultrasound at epu but… Continue reading Sunshine & Rain Makes A Rainbow … (part 2 weeks 6-10)
Sunshine & Rain Makes A Rainbow…(part 1 weeks 2-6)
Twelve days after my 4th miscarriage it was our 7 year anniversary since we met. We very carelessly did the ‘baby dance’ that night. I never ovulate between a miscarriage and my next period I’ve tracked it every time but this time because we weren’t allowed to try for 8 weeks I hadn’t been monitoring… Continue reading Sunshine & Rain Makes A Rainbow…(part 1 weeks 2-6)
Treading Water
In the days following my consultation in London even though I was finding the weaning of the drugs terribly hard, I managed to reason with myself when I was at my lowest points. At night I laid in bed devising an email to the clinic saying I was giving up and I could not cope… Continue reading Treading Water
Beautiful Nightmare
After stopping the progesterone that evening sure enough three days later I began to miscarry naturally, I knew I had made the right decision to not prolong this agony any longer. This miscarriage was more painful than the others and I found myself grabbing on to the kitchen work tops and gritting my teeth together.… Continue reading Beautiful Nightmare
Chasing A Heartbeat
The first cycle on the treatment plan didn’t really go to plan at all. The thyroid treatment was actually working which is a positive but as a result of my new thyroid activity my cycle was altered and I ovulated earlier than ever before. I hit panic stations on the baby dancing front but unfortunately… Continue reading Chasing A Heartbeat
Treasure
During the days following my diagnosis I read the treatment plan over and over, sitting with the paperwork in my hands I felt like I had finally found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I have my answers and this is my treasure, the treasure that could lead to our very… Continue reading Treasure
D-day
I had tormented myself for months every single day wondering if I’ll ever get answers and finally that day had come. There was a mixture of excitement and fear inside me and I felt like I couldn’t concentrate on the journey down to London, to add to the stress a little our train was cancelled… Continue reading D-day
